out on a limb.

i'm out on a limb here. confused. restless. full of estrogen. maybe lacking in some essential vitamins. i'm back to hanging on the ledge... and my fingers feel like they are slipping. piece by piece it's falling out. and i can't stop it or understand why it's happening. i could be pregnant if immaculate conception happens twice. they keep saying if i stress out more that it will only make it worse. and stressing seem like all i can do. i'm tired. and fighting apathy. striving for intentionality. i don't know if i'm winning this battle, but i'm gonna fight. i've released the grip on my job... house... income...beloved pup... and now my health? i wonder what else i will have to release in this journey.

Lord, give me the willingness to continually surrender. clothe me in humility. open my eyes to what You are doing. i open my hand & release the grip on my "perfect life" once again. thank you Lord, that You know every hair on my head, my coming & goings... that my days are ordained in Your perfect will. i love you.